Pornographic

Daily Prompt: Embrace the Ick

Think of something that truly repulses you. Hold that thought until your skin squirms. Now, write a glowing puff piece about its amazing merits.

Nothing cures the horny like these naughty footsie condoms.

The best thing that can be said about the socks is that they are always sparkling clean. I mean, seriously. Do the producers take special care to use the most effective bleach on their porn stars’ ankle socks? Not only am I spared from the doubtless crippling ugly of twink feet, but I can breathe a sigh of relief because while the STDs are probably running rampant, at least the athlete’s foot is under control. And if anything else, the porn socks industry is keeping me from developing a frightening foot fetish by having me draw my eyes away from the gleaming white hosiery so that I may better focus on the lukewarm man on man action I’m actually there for.

Thank you, socks. You make free online porn classy.

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